As a performing musician, I have the pleasure of meeting people from all walks of life. Several of the people I speak to after shows used to be active musicians. At some point they may have been taking piano lessons or teaching themselves how to play chords on the guitar. Many even took it as a serious career path and got their degree in music. Whatever their age is, whether they played for a year or for decades, they all say the same thing…
“I wish I never quit.”
Playing music was clearly something these people enjoyed (or even loved), enough for them to come to a live performance and approach me afterwards to reminisce and share their musical experiences with me. It begs the question… if music was such a positive experience, what caused them to put it away?
Here are the most common reasons for quitting when I asked them:
“I was never good at it.”
“I lost interest.”
“I’m not talented enough.”
“I don’t have enough time.”
I’d like to address these all too common reasons that people quit music…
It breaks my heart to hear someone quit because they didn’t think they were good at it, or because they lost interest. As an educator, it is my job to make sure every student enjoys making music while ensuring they are progressing towards their musical goals. I also seek to equip them with a holistic understanding of music in general and their instrument in particular, so they are ready to pursue whatever musical interests they may have down the road. Achieving this balance is a juggling act that makes being a music teacher so engaging and fun - between challenge and skill, the familiar and the foreign - for each student based on their individual music goals.
If a student is challenged too much without enough skill to match, they will fall into despair. For example, if I ask a beginning piano student to study advanced jazz theory or play Beethoven sonatas right away, they would tell themselves they are not good at music and quit because the challenge is extreme. On the other hand, if I don’t push the student towards what challenges them enough, they will get bored and lose interest over time.
Additionally, every lesson should be fun and engaging, while still being structured so the teacher can provide feedback the student needs to hear so they can grow. Achieving this balance week after week creates a flow for every student, keeping them engaged and growing at their own pace, giving them a sense of progress and accomplishment while working cheerfully towards their next win.
But what about those who said they weren’t “talented” enough? The truth is, these students probably didn’t have a lack of talent, but they didn’t have proper expectations. Music is rewarding, but to learn how to play at a high level takes time and dedication. Learning how to play music is a lifelong pursuit because it never ends.
So if you are reading this and feel like you aren’t talented enough to play an instrument, I encourage you to give it another shot. Everyone who plays an instrument starts at level zero! Yes, some households are more musical than others, but that doesn’t change the fact that, with the right training and some practice, anybody can play music. Just expect that progress doesn’t look the same for everybody, and enjoy the task that’s right in front of you. Have fun playing an easy piano version of that classical piece before you dive into the real thing. Remember, don’t give yourself a challenge that pushes you to despair!
The last point I want to address here is that of practice/playing time. The truth is, you do (or your child does) have enough time to practice and make progress! The student who believes they need 4 hours of practice every day is creating an obstacle that will be impossible to overcome, creating a sense of dread at the thought of practicing. Maybe they will succeed at this lofty goal for a while, but burnout will eventually hit. Trust me, I’ve experienced this myself!
I encourage you to think of music not as an extra-curricular school activity or hobby, but as a lifestyle. Being faithful to your musical progress means enjoying that week-long vacation without feeling guilty that you left your guitar at home, and picking it up for 15 minutes the day after you get back. Practice can certainly be done in longer chunks of time, but don’t expect those sprints to be normative. Consistency is key! I would recommend starting with the goal of practicing for 30 minutes every day, but if that is unattainable then that’s ok! Practicing for 10 minutes a day (or every other day, for that matter) gets you further over the long run than practicing for one hour a day for a week and getting burnt out. Start as small as you can be consistent with, and your playing time will increase naturally from there.
Just remember, if lessons feel too challenging or too easy, or if you have questions related to practice time, let your instructor know. They are happy to help!
