When most people list their fears, rejection is one of the top fears, along with things like public speaking and the ocean. But what if rejection was nothing to be afraid of?
Jia Jang was a man haunted by rejection ever since his early college days when he asked his uncle, a dear friend and someone he respected highly, for feedback on his invention - a shoe with wheels on it that you could skate around in. Instead of praise and encouragement, his uncle chastised him and said the idea was silly, and that he should focus more on school. This left him deeply crushed, and he abandoned his idea. A couple of years later, "Heelys" were a huge success, making millions of dollars on nearly the exact same concept. Perhaps if Jia executed on his dream idea instead of dismissing it due to fear and disapproval, he would have gained the same success. But he had a very different story...
After college and some unsuccessful business ventures, Jia decided to conquer his fear of rejection. However, when he was seeking advice, he didn't find anything concrete. Instead, he heard things like "deal with it" and "just move on". These self-help gurus suggest that rejection must be dealt with like failure, but there are actually some important distinctions to be made here.
The first is that failure is something you can bounce back from. It may hurt, but eventually there may be a success down the road. Rejection is when someone declines you and your way of seeing and doing things directly. Failure may look like a business startup that flopped or losing due to a lack of skill, whereas rejection is even more deeply personal; this is when you don't get accepted for that job you applied for, or if you were to propose to your partner for marriage and get shut down. Clearly, rejection hits close to home and may impact the most important parts of our lives. The worst part is that we've all been stung by the pain of rejection in our lives. No wonder people fear it so much!
Jia decided to beat his fear of rejection by facing it head-on for 100 days; he intentionally made absurd requests that he assumed would be rejected. For day one, Jia asked a random security guard $100 dollars (his first no). Later, he would ask for even more absurd things, like to play soccer in a stranger’s backyard (a surprising yes) and to fly a plane (another yes). My favorite part of the book was reading about his silly requests and seeing people say yes to them.
Here are some key lessons he learned throughout his 100 Days of Rejection:
Rejection is human
Rejection is an opinion
Rejection has a number (eventually it will turn into a yes)
If you get a "no", ask why
Start with your own reasoning, instead of assuming you know what the other person wants
Use the "no" as motivation ... and so much more!
I highly recommend checking out the book for yourself. Since getting rejected is a human experience (and we're all human), I know you will gain a lot from reading this book.
You can order the book on Amazon by clicking here.
Thanks so much for reading my blog! Please share your questions or thoughts in the comments.
This blog is a repost, originally published in February, 2024.
